Quiet Contemplation
Source: borntomakeanimpact.tumblr.com via Rachel on Pinterest
I was going to post this picture with the title “Quiet Contemplation” and leave it at that.
But, in the interest of full disclosure, I’ll let you in.
I have been without a job for exactly 1 year.
Not my first bout with being gainfully unemployed.
But as I approach 30 (Jesus, that was painful to type) It becomes more pressing that I don’t have a ‘career’.
Most everyone I graduated high school/college with are doctors, lawyers, teachers, marketers etc.
And what am I?
I am a blogger with an economics degree and zero experience in her field.
That sentence above reads ‘unemployable’.
We moved here because I couldn’t find anything in Houston which utilized my econ degree.
“NYC is the mecca of all things economics, how could I NOT find a job” I naively thought to myself.
Call it over confidence or a massive jinx, but there is nothing on the horizon folks.
Nada.
I am in the same, sad state of affairs I was in Houston.
Just with a larger rent payment.
I’ve become obsessed with finding something meaningful, something I’m good at, and something that I can be proud of.
The fact that I can’t get hired as an assistant makes fulfilling the above criteria very difficult.
I want to contribute to the family.
Luckily, I have the most understanding and supportive husband a girl could ask for. If I told him I wanted to open a lemonade stand, he’d start squeezing the lemons and scouting locations with the most traffic.
He’s that amazing.
However,
This lack of purpose weighs heavily on my mind.
The impression that people have of me living off my Husband is almost more than my heart can bear.
I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.
I’m not looking for sympathy comments. (like I said, I wasn’t even going to post this)
I just needed to put it out there into the void.
Kathleen Kelly: [writing to “NY152”] Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.
